Monday, June 11, 2007

T minus one week

Yesterday was a good service. The pastors were away, so the music leader delivered a short message and a few other folks shared a little testimony about what music does for their worship. Some very cool thoughts. Interestingly, some commented on how important the words were to them, and others said that while good, words are not necessarily needed to get us to a point of worship. I was glad to hear that people don't always think the words are required, since I often can't focus due to other pressing matters, such as hitting the correct guitar chord. Also, the whole idea of extracting lyrics from a song has always been hard for me.

The best thing that happened came from the mouth of wifey. She noticed how real the message and the comments were. Sometimes well-scripted, and well-planned messages come across a little too scripted and planned. Why is that? Professionals have to create and deliver a message every week, and we can't expect them to hit a home run every week, can we? Well, yes we can, and we should.

What do I mean by this? Does every message have to be perfect? Of course not. But the delivery (and the deliverer) of every message must be real. Preach what you understand, and most importantly preach what you believe and what you live. Do that, and you have hit a home run. Again, pastors are not perfect, far from it as we all know. But it does me no good to hear a message that is not even real to the one preaching. It becomes an academic analysis of scripture, and possibly some suggestions for applying this analysis to our lives. But if it is not real, then how can you suggest how to apply it in my life? You don't even know what it means yourself! Those messages might be enough for some people, but for me it falls a little short of what I am hoping to hear in church. Maybe my standards are set too high.

Yesterday I heard real people, talking about real things happening in their hearts, and it was really cool.


Thursday, June 7, 2007

Some peace

Last night I relaxed a little watching the little one's softball game. There are a few dads who bring a bit of grounding to the discussion. They are not simple people by any means, but we can discuss simple problems with understandable solutions. It doesn't help my situation directly, but it is good to hear that other folks proceed through life and handle various issues without mental breakdown.

I talked to wifely last night about the music situation. Two more weeks and we are off until September. Our plan right now is to play together a lot over the summer. She needs to brush up on her guitar skills, and I might try my hand at bass. Who knows where this will end up. It would be nice to grow a little closer through the process. we have a good relationship, but I don't think you can know you wife too well. I'll report back on that.


Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Another day another way?

So, this blog is going to turn more regular in terms of postings, and possibly less deep in terms of content. (If it was ever deep, that is.) I need some place to explore my thoughts and faith. It might sound strange, but I learned long ago that when I engage my fingers to a keyboard, different things come out than would had I spoken them, hand written them, or simply thought or prayed them. I guess I am just that weird. It's as though my fingers connect to a different communication location within my brain. My mouth is probably disconnected entirely (!) but it is surprising to me that even hand writing brings out different thoughts.

So, on to today's update. Yesterday I told the last of my music friends, those directly affected by my hiatus, that I would probably be taking the summer off. It felt good to share a little, and also to simply get this off my chest. None of them are happy, but as I told them, I feel it is a choice between letting them down a little now for the summer, or else letting them down a lot in the fall when the church season get rolling a lot. For me the choice is obvious.

Today driving in to work I felt a sense of peace surround me that I have not felt in quite some time. Possibly months. I don't know what that means yet, but for the first time in a while I may be getting comfortable with the idea of a change in my relationship with the church (the local church that is). I obviously have to dig a little deeper into this, but for now I am taking this as a sign that I am on track.

Shalom to you and, I pray, to me as well.

Monday, June 4, 2007

Back for Now

OK, it's been way too long. And I have had to say that a few too many times. The fact is I'm having a lot of trouble lately. I'm not sure what is going on with my faith. I've always known that God rarely shouts, and often barely whispers. Yet sometimes we all probably need a little more than the whisper we get. It's easy to say "all in God's plan" or "God's time, not our time" and all that, but when you're in the thick of it that is just not too comforting.

One thing I did find comforting is to read over what I have recorded here for you over the last several months. It seems like I had something then. Where has it gone? I'll be doing my best to get here more often and letting you know what is happening. I hope it is not a sad story, but right now, the future is a cloudy one.